Kind of odd for my first posted story.

A man could be seen writing something furiously on a desk that was engulfed in paper work. His work clothes were dirty, almost as though he had taken a shift in the processing plant. His brow was furrowed, and his expresion serious, as he worked the dozens of docments that litered his desk, creating the perfect image of an overworked middle aged middle class male. The scene was rather messy, his whole office ranked of bile, and the noise in the background was sickenly loud. However this perfect symphony of relently discomfort was interupted by a boy running in from the upper floors. He was wet with an unidentified brown substance and looking very panicked. The stuff was getting all over the floor and yet the boy cared not at all, he simply ran up to the desk blabbering incoherent nonsense about a can of some kind of refried substance which had apparently just been consumed.
"You've got to hit the alarm button, Mr procesnthy! It's an emergancy!" The boy yelled panicking, putting his covered hands on the managers desk, getting even more mess everywhere.
The man continued to work at his papers, never looking up, seemingly totally ignoring him. Only a raised eyebrow could indicate that he acknowledged the boys precense.
"Fell into the Processing plant again, did you Mr. Saliviny?" The man asked quietly, still not looking up.
"Well yes, but that was because i saw this HUGE can fil-" The man interupted him with an angery voice, standing up.
"Fell into it again, fell into it yesterday, fell into it last week, i am not paying you to take a tour of our digestive system MR. Salinviny, i am paying you to be a Sentry for total disasters. What is the last time you told me anything useful? A germ on a skittle 5 years ago? If you dont clean up your act, youll be on a one way trip to the colon." The man paused for a moment, calming down. He noticed that the boy was still panicked and maybe didnt even listen to him. He sat back down and then asked the boy, "Now, what reason can you give me for not firing you right now?"

the boy paused for just a moment, trying to decided if he was actually allowed to speak, then took a deep breath and told the wise and all-powerful direction of digestion what he came to tell him.







"THE BASTARD JUST ATE A FULL CAN OF RAW REFRIED BEANS!"

Outside the office huge machines and endless rows of workers were tending to the bits of food entering and exiting their de-assembly lines. While the sound of the machines moving bile from here to there and methane canisters from there to here was grinding and deafening the actual noise from the workers themselves didnt even go above a grunt when something heavy must be moved. After a while the ambiance became white noise. On a raised platform stood a dirty old office that up until very recently almost no activity ever arisen from it. The lights which shone on its windows never flickered, the door never opened save for the manager refilling his caffine machine, and the whole outfit was boring mundane pattern, day in and out. But suddenly, the lights went off with a quite smash.

"HIT THE ALARM, EVERYONE FUCKING EVACUATE!!!" The door flew open, nearly off its hinges. The man seen now totally contridicted the calmquiet one seen only moments before. His expression held panick, anger, determination, even a bit of fear.
All of the workers below were struck out of their droning and looked around in panic. Some fell, others scrambled, but it was obvious that a slow progress to the emergancy exists was being made. Mr. Procesnthy was moving like lighting, hitting controls and pushing levers, and continually giving orders to the evacuation. A slight rumbling could now be sensed. This noise, which caused the stomach wall itself to buckle and shake caused huge screams of panic from the rapidly escaping digestive agents. But the director kept his cool even when the waves smell approached.

At one end of the plant, a wall occured, and at the very opposite end another wall occured. What existed between these two walls was a hole in each and a coveyor belt which fed from one to the other. This is where the largest, most complex bits of food entered, and by the end of the belt was ready to be further treated and eventually absorbed and expelled. Each bit was small enough to be handled with tools carried by the workers and very little mess ever occured here. That is, until the first evidence of mass-bean digestion had appeared. Starting with a little dribble here or there on the abandoned conveyor, followed by the constant amount of liquid covering the belt and on to the liberous flowing of liquid bean out of the doors. At this time the floor had a thick layer of liquid on it. The holes were no longer simply carrying liquid from here to there on the belt, they were spraying out liquid into the entire room. The floor was now knee deep in bean and was getting higher and higher. Still the man worked furiously, adjusting controls and stabilizing the trauma which would eventually hit the lower levels.
"Saliviny! Get to the evacuation hatch go on without me!" the man said still working the controls.
"Okay." Said the boy as he walked over to the hatch, hopped in, and started to close the door.
"Hey! Wait! You're supposed to talk me out of this!" The man said, looking up, suprised. But unfortunately the door had already closed, and locked with a sound clunk.
"SHIT!" The man said, stoping angrily in the liquid bean which was now clear up to his waist. "Ahhh, fuck it." He said as he continued to work the controls and move on to another wall to see what could be done.

Down below the mere Saliva enzyme was explaining the directors heroic deeds to the second and 3rd in command who were now to assume the rest of the evacuation plans and shelter preperations. A number of the workers and observers bowed their heads in commemeration of their selfless boss. While the rest, almost all of them, fell over laughing at the image of the director fighting an endless torrent of beans. After the laughing died down the commanders took up their stations at the small intestine, pancreas and such. The pancrease was over worked with requests already when this information came through. There was even a threat to give it all up entirely and just turn into a giant tumor. The commander wouldnt hear of it and even threatened to throw the director of the pancreas into the stomach with the other director if he didnt do his job. The pancrease was prepared and the the small intestine was getting ready for the onslaught. They just wanted it through and out as quickly as possible. Although they were a bit niave as everyone who was working in the stomach could see that it wasnt just a small snack, it was a full 32 ounces of bean, which was going to mean hell with the poor funding to the stomach. There were a few quips about the healthiness of eating beans but many feared, and a few actually knew how close they may be.... to the end.

The heart and brain were informed about the situation, the heart nearly collapsed on itself right then and there, but it was saved when the commander inspired it to just bitch at the brain for doing something so utterly insane. The brain then gave the whole digestion system the finger and then left. We havent seen it since.

Most of the workers from the rest of the digestive system had gathered into the shelters, and only the personelle were left. The workers huddled in close to one another reassuring themselves that the walls would hold. They would, they must hold. They were all hugging each other and promising that they would survive, some were praying and others were saying their goodbyes. but after some time, they all settled in and prepared for the incoming hell. Among all the tension the two higher commands stood side by side gazing into the distance waiting for destiny.
Without moving anything but his mouth he quietly pondered, "You realize how close were coming to it? And how little chance those workers have if even one area on a shelter is exposed?"
There was a breif silence as the other commander answered in the exact same emotionless way, "Our battlements will hold, we've seen worse." Noticing the lack of response the same commander then added, "Okay, not alot worse."

All along the bank were mountains of cellbags. Enough to contain niagra falls if the Host was ever dumb enough to try to drink from them. At the far end of the river was the entrance to the stomach. Since an emergancy lock had been established the wall would not give for a while. So that gave time to continue reinforcing the walls. Then, just as the next layer of bags was being established a dark, foul odor could be smelt everywhere. The 1st commander looked out, to the stomach curve with a keen eye. Bits of brown liquid could be seen tribbling down the once clean and colorless waters. Followed immediately by a constant stream of brown.
Nearly gasping in suprise the huge wave, which flowed nearly half way up the bag wall flowed forth from the curve, dwarfing the stream below it.
"INCOMING BEAN! BRACE YOURSELVES!" The 1st commander yelled as he rushed off to help with the re-enforcing. The 2nd commander could only gawk, mouth wide open, nearly crying with suprise as the ocean of brown escaped from the stomach, seemingly endless. Never before had he witnessed such a force of nature. He could barely fathome the frail cellbag wall holding up to such a force. He could not even move, not even speak, but simply stare off into the ever rising liquid.
Down below the 1st commander was giving constant orders, as to where to put more cell bags. He himself had joined in the effort and was lugging bags to the top of the hill and throwing them down just like one of the common workers. Suddenly a breach occured. And people were rushing around the 2nd commander trying to get to the hole, already the 1st commander was working furiously to patch the hole. working successfully the bag wall stood here, but barely. Once the area was secured, all of the party moved down the river to re-enforce the rest. Breaking out of his witless stupor the 2nd commander followed.
When they got there there were already minor breaches everywhere, the wall bags were not completed yet. Regardless of this the 1st commander and the rest of the personelle worked like machines, placing bag on top of bag until it seemed like they were not even organic. Once the area was miraculously secured, the 1st commander began to enforce the movement of the workers. Thats when it happened. The whole side of one wall fell into the river. Working furiously to rebuild it, the 1st commander nearly swam through the bean to finish the job. Nearly was the job completed when the whole other side collapsed, washing the walls with brown. The rest of the bag walls continued to fall, puting all of their work to the fire. Commanding a massive retreat, all but the 1st commander escaped into the large intestine. He was still there, putting cell bag onto cell bag, like he himself could rebuild the thing there and then.
The 2nd commander escaped into the large intestine and prodeded to the main plant. There the rest of the workers were put into their shelters and only the skeleton crew remain. Inside of the plant the 2nd commander breifed the Director of waste on the newest reports. His response was a little frustrating.
"You mean to tell me, that the brain, said... you can handle it?" The 2nd commander said in disbelief.
"Yup, the brain told me himself, its just gonna be a little trinkle, we can handle it. We've survived whole white castle meals, y'know." The director said with an oblivious smile.
"You idiot! You have no idea what hell is approaching! This is nothing like we've ever faced before, if you cant process it, then were all dead." The 2nd commander said seriously, reflecting on the endless ocean of brown he witnessed in the small intestine. His eyebrown twitching.
"Look, i know you commanding types take things up there in the stomach area too seriously so ill make it nice and easy for ya to understand. If we are doomed, and this is the end, then there aint for reason to be getting worked up about it, enjoy your last moments, have a cup of coffee, go pig out on the spare glucose packets." The rather fat, stout man said as he was spinning around in his chair. The 2nd commander gave up and walked out and paid his last disrespects to this godforsaken digestive system. It was substandard, tricky and almost always in need of maitenance. Couldnt take anything spicy beyond a gingerbread man, any citris would cause half the fucker to melt right there. Such a literal pain in the ass. The 2nd commander was almost glad that in a few moments it would all be over. He reflected for a moment how blissful it must be to be an ignorent idiot, like that Director of waste, to not know of the impending doom.

The room they were in now, resembled a nuclear power plant. There were 4 huge doors on the small intestine wall that controled the flow of materials through the large intestine and to the colon. Several large processing tubes with collant supplies went from these two locations. The colon had 1 Giant door, with hydrolics which reached to the ceiling, powered by the nuclear plant behind them. All around, whatever ground that wasnt covered with collant pipes, pressure pipes, electronics stations and personelle, were emergancy shelters which could withstand nearly any force that could concievably enter through those 4 large gates, if they broke through the tranfer tubes.

For the last 30 minutes the stomach has been sending an automated signel to let it be known that soon there will need to be an explusion. So far, no word from the eyes could be found that would indicate any changes. The ground began to shake, and with it the emergancy sirens went off. The 2nd comander pulled himself from his reflections to go back to the control room and get an update on the information. Inside the office, it was a unnerving contrast to the panic outside. The director calmy gazed at his controls, while it could be seen in various security screens that there was an endless ocean of poo which was heading their way. Already now, 16 out of the 20 security screens was blank with brown. This did nothing to help the commanders attitude but the director still didnt even bat an eye.
It was in the last few moments, when screens 18 and 19 were blanked out that the commander freaked.
"Well arent you going to open those doors!!?" He screamed.
The director leaned forward casually, and with a smile said, "Alright, alright, calm down." He pushed a button on his counsole and simultaneously all 4 gates opened up slowly. The whole building was shaking and the doors themselves seemed to vibrate. The wave hit the dam full force and it held. Flawlessly. Then more came, and more, and soon the small openings in the gates began to creak. The director adjusted it some and it opened more. Easily handling the flow. It was breath taking, watching the liquid flow forth, like an unrelenting beast. And soon not even a 50% opening could handle it and the director looking a bit frustrated mummbled to himself and opened the door all the way. Soon the transfer tubes were filling up and he opened the other gate and began processing.
And then before their eyes, the commander watched what he thought to be the end of it all being processed easily.
"There, nothing to get worked up over, we here can handle any digestive event imaginable." The director said with a smile. But his smile was broken suddenly when a warning signal went off.
"What is it?" The commander asked.
"Err.. it looks like the processing already has a full methane load, we cant let it go through here yet, so ill transfer it to the mouth." The director said pushing a few buttons.
Before the director could object the Host let out a very hearty burp. Which he shook off without a thought. But then, the phone wrang in the directors office.
"Buuuuuuuelch-*cough*- thirsty."

He picked it up, "Hello? Yes? Why? Oh, here he is." The director said handing the phone to the commander, he took it and answered, "2nd commander charles here. There is movement? Excelent, we may live through this afteral- what? Hes getting what? Oh dear god.... Oh dear god no!"


The phone went dead with an agonizing yell. The commander put the phone down slowly. The director asked what the problem was. But before he could answer the signals went off again.
"Even more pressure? Thats impossible! I'll have to put it into turbo." The man said, ignoring the commanders blank and empty gaze. Noticing the lack of comfort the man reiterated, "Look, we can handle it, what ever it is, did the boy eat more beans? Some chips perhaps?" The commander gave a slow no, shake of his head. Despite the even wider holes in the walls now, and the steady processing of the poo the whole plant was hanging on by a thread.
"what could be that horrible?" The man asked. But he was answered when a green liquid suddenly showed up inside the transfer tubes. Since all workstations before had been overwhelmed and abandoned the lethal substance had gotten here immediately.
The commander looked and and then muttered to the director the words which even the greatest digestive elements fear, "Mountain Dew."

All the alarms and redlights in the facility went off. The deadly green liquid already had begun eating through the walls of the stomach and intestines, and now was busily eroding the gate walls. The transfer tubes, although very thick were thining rapidly as the acid from the citris was devouring all in its path. The formerly calm and arrogant director was trying his best to keep calm. But as the cameras were being destroyed and all the sensors eaten away and their fate clear as day heading for them at the speed of thought the commander was totally at peace. The director was nearly on the floor in panic by now. But as the director himself advised, there was no use getting worked up over it.

The transfer tubes ruptured, the poo formerly restricted to the tubes gushed out, filling all space, the tubes themselves were not even visable now as they had either been eaten away or blocked by the solid flow of poo. The mountain dew hit the observation window and radpily began eating away, and it covered the shelters, disintegrating them in a moment. Workers everywhere either totally engulfed by poo or being eaten by the deadly greenness. Finally the core of the plant itself was breached and the whole thing was seconds away from critical meltdown. The glass broke and the mountain dew had melted him before the poo even hit.
Outside the plant was getting more and more engulfed and the sound of the reactor could be heard to no one for they were all dead. Wiped out by the sea of hell, no one was there to witness such an explosion. However one person still existed to experiance the result.



"So i finally decided, well i already knew, but now im sure that it is not the pulsar, nor the vanu soverignty which sucks, but its me. Because now that the TR is needed on two servers and the vanu are balancing out and i still cant own ive finally found that it is me, and only me which sucks. Ohh.... Hey shang, ill be back, i have a digestive emergancy."

The poo is gone now, its safe.